You're the Cheese to my Macaroni.

I met M a little over 5 years ago. (May 23 to be exact) I was coming out of a 4 year relationship with someone that I just wasn't happy with. Between the 6 months of ending that story and meeting M, I found myself mixed up with a guy that was an asshole. (best word to describe it!) I never cried, I didn't have that emotion. I just dealt. He'd come and He'd go. And every time he came back, I'd be there .. waiting. It was really pathetic. If we could only go back and change history, right?

M and I actually met online. I was living in Kentucky and he was in Michigan. I was in a chatroom of a website that I used to pretty much live on. (and made friends that I still have to this day!) M's sister was on webcam, as was I and several other people. It was probably 4-5am when M came home from work and was in the background of her cam. We all probably chatted until 8-9am (as was usual back then for me. a night owl.) Later that day, I got a messege from him. To make the story shorter.. a couple weeks later, he showed up at my front door. I was shocked, but happy. We spent the weekend together and he left Sunday night headed back home. I got a phone call a couple hours later that he'd been pulled over and the police impounded his car. I didn't know at the time, but he had a suspended license. His dad was on his way, but I was only an hour or so away, so I agreed to drive up and wait with him. I met his dad, sister and another guy from our "chatroom" the next morning in a Waffle House in Indiana. I had to work that Monday, but was off the rest of the week. They all talked me into calling in sick and going to Michigan for the week. With nothing but the clothes on my back! I stayed the week, came home for a week, went back up there for a week. Then 2 weeks later, I moved to Michigan.

I've never for a moment regretted that decision. It was hasty and very unplanned, but it worked. We spent a year in Michigan and then decided to move back to Mississippi, where I'm from.

Our relationship has been rocky. We fight alot. But it's the ones where 15 minutes later, you forget about it. He hurts my feelings, I hurt his. We've let each other down multiple times. And I'm sure that we will continue to. I've cried more in the last 5 years than I have my entire life. Sounds healthy, huh?

I've debated writing an "about us" post for a while now but never really knew how to put the words out. This morning, we had a moment. He left, I cried .. so hard i threw up. And for some reason this felt like the moment to do it. The last few months have been really tense for us. Yes, we got married in April. We've lived together pretty much since day 1, so there really wasn't a "honeymoon" phase. I quit my job to focus on starting my own business. He's having to fully support us right now and it's rough. We both stay stressed out. Our affection and intimacy have been pretty much non existant for a while now. It takes a toll.

I guess what I'm trying to say is .. I love you M. When I said "I Do" I meant it. You are my world and I never want to be without you. For all the things we do wrong, there is so many more that we do right. Thank you for putting up with my ups and downs. Thank you for supporting me in my new journey. Thank you for always being there. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Posted in: lifestyle